NOAH (VOICEOVER)

I woke up one morning and she was gone. I checked the bathroom cabinet, the kitchen for her favorite coffee mug, the bedroom for her clothes. There was nothing left. As this sinking feeling was hitting me, I spotted her coffee cup sitting on a piece of paper, words scratched out underneath. There were coffee stains and scribbles, but the worst part was she had only written four words

“You Hold Me Down

-D”

NOAH (VOICEOVER) (CONT’D)

“You hold me down”? What did that mean? I stared at it a long time, praying the coffee rings and tear stains would tell me their story.

Noah gets up and pours himself a cup off coffee, and sits down to analyze the note again.

NOAH (VOICEOVER) (CONT’D)

Then it hit me. The song. I ran to my iPod, and sure enough there was a post-it note that said “play me” on it. I pressed play and sunk back against the wall.              

“I found a letter that said I’m sorry that / You were asleep when I wrote these words down / You think I ought to be used to that by now / Save for a few of those late night episodes / Missed opportunities of I don’t cares / There’s not a lot that I feel obliged to share / Or talk about…”

NOAH (VOICEOVER) (CONT’D

And it went on. A quirky breakup song that Devon simplified into the four little words that made up the title, and somehow defined our relationship. It was perfect, really. Every word fit, from having to cancel outings with friends, to taking ‘time’. Fuck, where did this come from? I thought we made up last night. Apparently she was more upset than I thought she was…

FLASHBACK: Noah and Devon are in the living room, she’s upset.

DEVON

You never do anything any more, Noah! What happened to going on walks? Going tubing? Getting out of the house once and a while? Supporting my dreams?! You’re so god damn disconnected from the world lately, and you can’t blame this on your parents any more. You have been at college for two years now, Noah. Grow the fuck up already.

Back to Noah, sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall in front of his iPod.

NOAH (VOICEOVER) (CONT’D)

I normally have the opinion that Tuesdays suck anyway, but god damn, this one takes the cake. It was 7:30 in the morning and I’m sitting against the wall of an apartment, alone, with six months left on the lease, because my girlfriend of the past two and a half years needed a break. I was left with nothing but a cold cup of coffee that was still sitting, untouched, on the kitchen table, and my job. Shit! My job! 

Noah scrambles up and rushes to get ready. Montage of him showering, pulling a shirt over his head, grabbing his keys, shutting the door, and sitting on the bus.

EXT. INT. BUS - DAY - TRAVELING —

NOAH (VOICEOVER)

I’m riding the bus. There’s a girl with the same purse you always carried. There’s a sharpie sticking out of it. I want to grab it and write your name all over the artwork overhead but I don’t. I stare at it, as if I could will it to do it on its own. We jerk to a stop and she stands to get off. I almost reach out to touch her because there’s some connection between her and you and I miss you so damn much, but I don’t. I watch her leave, and it makes me think of the last time I watched you walk away. It was during your sister’s birthday party. I had too much to drink, so did you, but that never made us any different together. You said I was being childish. Now, I can’t remember what about, apparently I was drunk enough to forget that part. But the anger and desolation on your face never left my mind. I should have known then. But I didn’t.     

Noah watches the girl get off the bus, and as he does, he sees a couple sitting towards the front, giggling and laughing together.

EXT. INT. BUS - DAY - TRAVELING —

NOAH (VOICEOVER) (CONT’D

Laughter. Something we had shared from the start. We were sitting in psychology class and the professor spoke without thinking. We were two of the handful who heard him, and we chuckled under our hands. But not before you snorted outloud. I turned around and caught your eye, and we lost all control. After class, I asked for your name.

“Devon”       

NOAH (VOICEOVER)

You said, and I couldn’t think of anything clever to say.

FLASHBACK:   

EXT. INT. SCHOOL HALL - DAY —   

The two are standing in the hall awkwardly, Noah smiling like a fool.

DEVON

…You?

NOAH

Noah

EXT. INT. BUS - DAY - TRAVELING —

NOAH (VOICEOVER) (CONT’D

So instead I started leaving notes on your desk, or taped underneath until I got the courage to ask you out. It was childish. Immature even, but it got you to laugh. And I loved your laugh…

Noah gets off the bus and turns around, nearly bumping into an elderly man and woman flirting as they get on the bus after one another. He walks past couples walking, talking, holding hands, and pinches his eyes closed as he hurries to his apartment.

EXT. INT. APARTMENT - DAY —

Noah drops his keys on the counter and flops onto the couch. The extra bedroom door looms open, where we find out Devon made her artwork. He stares at it.

NOAH (VOICEOVER)

Naked. That’s what I think every time I sit on this couch. The walls are empty, the shelves are bare, and most of all, you’re not here. That made me feel the most empty of all. The walls are screaming for something to cover them up because they feel alone and pressured under the harsh florescent lights strung up high in the ceiling. So I go into your work room, where I haven’t been since you threw that bottle of cerulean at my head, but here I am. It’s a mess. Through some miracle, I find a few clean brushes and an empty canvas and just…paint. I use jade and beige and some weird orange color that’s probably not even invented yet (or at least it’s not named). It’s thick and uneven. It gets smeared across my face and in my hair and on my clothes but I don’t care because FUCK! Now I understand why you did this, it’s liberating!                  

Noah walks away to get a cup of coffee, and comes back. Clock says 1:17 AM.

NOAH (VOICEOVER) (CONT’D

I come back to look at it and it’s ugly. Revolting. I grab another canvas, a bigger one this time, and start again. I go on like this for hours until I finally sit back and drink the cold coffee next to me, but spit it back into the cup. The only sign that I was actually alive and responding to anything. I leave it on the floor and look at the painting. It’s vague and dark, with small rips starting in the canvas from where I pushed too hard, and this time I’m satisfied. It’s not good. God, it’s the farthest thing from decent, but it’s good enough. For now.

NOAH (VOICEOVER)

I don’t shower. I peel off my clothes and slip between the sheets. I lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling. And that’s when I break. When I’m not thinking at all, and it all floods back. That time you called in to work to stay home with me when I was sick, and we watched the first two seasons of How I Met Your Mother together. Or when we went out to get the mail and wound up having a snowball fight instead. Walking to class hand-in-hand, camping trips, breakfast in bed, romantic dinners, late night study sessions, trying a new recipe, showering together, and just the simple act of falling asleep with you. The way your hair would fall on the pillow, or your chest would rise and fall. The way your eyelashes cast shadows and your eyes would flicker under their lids as you mumbled a final “I love you” through parted lips before sleep overtook you and you made no noise at all. That the only sound in the room would be your breathing and I would fall asleep that that. I didn’t have that now. From three stories down, the wind blew up from the rain soaked cement, carrying in the smell of fresh rain and that was the only other sound besides my shuttering breaths. I was alone in the darkness, and for the first time since you’ve been gone, I felt it. I felt the complete punch, weeks after you packed your stuff and left. I no longer felt empty or weightless or lifeless. No, I was alive. In every sense of the word. I knew, because I felt like I was dying.

———-[Gap in writing because I can’t write in order]———-

EXT. INT. APARTMENT - DAY —

Noah walks into the apartment and drops his keys and the bag of art supplies and paces the kitchen. The art room looms open. Sighing, he pulls out his phone and speed dials. It’s Devon.

DEVON (VOICEMAIL)

Hey, you’ve reached Devon. I’m either unavailable or screening my calls.

(laughter)

 Just kidding! Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.

Noah hangs up abruptly and bashes his head against the cabinets a few times. He presses the phone to his lips, closing his eyes, before dialing again while holding his breath. You hear the beep of the voicemail.

NOAH

Hey, it’s me…Noah. Uhm, you left your coffee cup a few other things here. I was just wondering if you wanted them or if I should donate them to Goodwill or something.

(A minute of silence followed by an exasperated sigh)

 Can we talk? Please, Dev…Just call me back.

Clearly frustrated, Noah throws his phone across the room.

EXT. INT. ART STORE - DAY — 

Rossi scans Noah’s items and puts them in a bag, but before handing it to him, she leans over the counter.

ROSSI

I’m off in ten minutes. Do you like coffee?         

They walk to the cafe in silence, with the exception of the music playing through the loudspeakers. Noah opens the door for Rossi, but she expects him to go so they both go at the same time and bump into each other. They apologize awkwardly and she goes first, opening the second door for Noah. She walks up to the counter and greets the employee by name before placing her order. Noah is overwhelmed by the new environment and stumbles over his word to place his order.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

Booth or table?                 

Noah shrugs and so she leads him to a booth by a window. They stare at each other from opposite benches, at their hands, out the window, both not sure what to talk about.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

Listen, I’m not much into small talk. ‘What’s your favorite color?’ ‘Blue’ ‘Oh, that’s cool, mine too’ because you can’t start a conversation like that. So I want to know what…what you find most beautiful in life.

Noah gives her a dumbfounded look.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

Seriously. Like, waking up and finding out one day that you’re not allergic to strawberries after all. Or the way the wind blows your hair perfect after you’ve spent all morning struggling with it. Here, look at the woman at the counter, the way her elbows are draped and her ankles are crossed while she waits for her order. Or the way the man over there is…caressing the keys of his laptop. It’s like visual poetry, watching him type. The way he chews his lips, or the way she is tapping her fingers to the music. Life has a weird sort of rhythm; each person is their own individual instrument, own piece of the orchestra.

NOAH

Are we talking about music or poetry here?

ROSSI

We’re talking about LIFE, Noah! What makes you get out of bed everyday? I mean, REALLY makes you get out of bed?

NOAH

My job?

ROSSI

What do you do?   

NOAH

I…

ROSSI

You don’t even have to answer that. I can tell from your voice it’s not that exciting

NOAH

Well, I guess

The server brings their order over and as he is grabbing the number from the table, Rossi turns to him.

ROSSI

We’re having a discussion here and he’s not participating very well. Can I get your opinion?

SERVER (NONAME)

Sure, what about?

ROSSI

Well, this may sound weird but, what do you find most beautiful in life?

SERVER

Most beautiful in life? That does sound a little weird

He laughs, Rossi smiles, Noah still looks out of place. After thinking a few minutes, the server answers

SERVER (CONT’D)

I guess I’d say…moments like this. Working here isn’t dull, I mean, we’re right downtown. We have performers , homeless people, and couples come in and the snippets of conversation you overhear, or the people you meet…it makes the worst days worth it…Does that answer your question?   

Rossi smiles and nods, and he smiles and thanks them before walking away.

ROSSI

Now do you understand what I’m talking about?

NOAH

…I think I need to chew on that one for a while

Rossi grins and takes a bite of her sandwich, while Noah looks out the window, contemplating as he takes a sip of his drink.

———-[Gap in writing because I can’t write in order]———-

ROSSI

So what’s your deal?

Noah looks at her, giving her a cue to continue.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

I mean, come on. You seem so down about life. What happened? Break up? Parents divorced? Dog died? It’s not like I’m a journalist or anything, I won’t tell anyone.

NOAH

Yeah, well…I’m still trying to sort through it.

ROSSI

Oh, so you’re not the kind who sorts through it vocally? You’ve gotta mull it over in your head until it makes you physically sick, huh? Yeah, I used to be like you. Fuck, I still am. But you know what I do when I get like that? I find some place quiet to lay, like…here.

Rossi plops down onto the grass, bringing her knees up and throwing her arms over them, waiting for him to sit with her. She then lays down and looks up.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

And I just stare at the stars. It makes me refocus myself, you know? Like when I was a kid and my parents fought, I would sneak out into the back yard and lay there for hours, until I would start shivering and have to go back inside. It’s just kind of amazing, thinking that those stars up there are so far off in the distance, covering the universe, and all that light is taking years and years to reach us. You realize how small and insignificant you really are.

NOAH

What do you do in the winter, when you can’t go outside like this?

ROSSI

I lay on my bedroom floor. Same effect. You just need a new view point, a new perspective on life sometimes. What do you do?

Noah shrugs his shoulders and sighs

NOAH

I don’t really do…anything. I guess I just deal with things as they come.

ROSSI

Right, because that’s obviously working so well for you.    

Noah looks at her, slightly offended.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

Look at you, Noah. You’re the walking epitome of stress. I know you’d like to think that no one can tell, but I just met you today and I can tell that you’re in a haze. What. Happened. To. You?

Noah is silent for a while, licking his lips, blinking and looking at the ground in concentration. He wipes his hands on his pants as he sits up.

NOAH

I told you, I don’t want to talk about it.

Noah gets up and leaves quickly.

INT. APARTMENT - NIGHT

Noah is laying on his couch, staring at the television. A commercial comes on and he groans, clicking it off and tossing the remote onto the floor as his eyes cast towards the ceiling when Rossi’s words play through his head again

ROSSI (VOICEOVER)

You just need a new view point, a new perspective on life sometimes.

Curious, Noah glances around the apartment before sliding to the floor and continuing to stare at the ceiling. It’s silent. He sighs heavily and rolls his eyes.

NOAH

This is ridiculous  

Noah gets up and sits back on the couch, tapping his foot or fingers. He grabs his keys from the table and walks out of the apartment.

EXT. DOWNTOWN - NIGHT

Walking downtown, Noah has his hands in his pockets and eyes cast downwards in front of him, his mind clearly preoccupied.

NOAH (VOICEOVER)

“What do you find most beautiful in life?” What the hell does that even mean? How can you find beauty in this world with so much pain? …Why am I even listening to her? She’s just a girl in an art store.

After his musings, Noah begins to look up at his surroundings, and the music coming from the speakers is a soft jazz and while the traffic on the street is less, the music doesn’t seem nearly as overpowering as it did when he was walking down the street with Rossi. The only thing that was cutting their silence. He feels an ease beginning to wash over him as he wanders aimlessly. But the jazz music is being drowned out by a muffled acoustic and as he walks towards the cafe, he notices a feminine figure seated with her back to the window. Upon further inspection, he notices it’s Rossi. Hesitating slightly and staring at the window, his eyes flick between the door and the figure on the other side of the glass before he decides to go in. Noah flashes Rossi a quick smile as he takes his seat. She plays a few more songs and he watches her quietly. When she is finished, she takes a seat across from him with a smile.

NOAH

Hey, sorry about just running off the other night, I just-    

ROSSI

Don’t worry about it. It’s how you deal.

NOAH

What?

ROSSI

It’s how you deal. You brush things off until you can figure them out, or hope they sort themselves out. Right?

Noah looks on quietly

NOAH

Yeah, I guess so.

ROSSI

Is that a defense mechanism or…

NOAH

I think it is.

EXT. FLASHBACK - —

———-[Gap in writing because I can’t write in order]———-

EXT. INT. ART STORE - DAY —

Noah enters the art store, and looks around, peering over and through isles. The woman at the counter smiles at him kindly.

EMPLOYEE

Can I help you?

NOAH

Uhm, I was looking for Rossi, is she here? 

The woman smiles knowingly, her facial expression changing from customer service to recognition.

EMPLOYEE

You must be Noah. Take a left at the end of the hallway and go down the stairs, she’s taking her break in the basement.       

Noah nods in appreciation and walks down the hallway, takes a left, and hesitantly pushes through a door and descends the stairs. Rossi is sitting on a stool, headphones in, fingers caressing her utensils while her eyes are closed. Noah walks up to her, taking in her art before observing her, his eyes lingering too long. Rossi opens her eyes as the song finishes, and turns to Noah.

ROSSI

Did ‘Kenzie let you down here?

Noah nods sheepishly, but brings his eyes back to her art.

NOAH

How come I haven’t seen your art before?

ROSSI

How come I haven’t seen yours?

Noah is quiet as he shrugs. A few seconds pass of silence and Rossi spins around to face him.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

Rough day?

Noah shrugs again, his eyes cast downward. Rossi opens her mouth to speak again, but Noah beats her to it

NOAH

Is this it?

Noah looks up at her as he shoves his hands into his pockets.

NOAH (CONT’D)

The healing…is this all that happens?

———-[Gap in writing because I can’t write in order]———-

EXT. PARK - NIGHT —

Noah and Rossi are walking and talking. They sit, and Noah falls back to stare at the sky as they continue their conversation, but the mood becomes more somber. Rossi’s attitude is upbeat, clearly trying to distract Noah from his musings and make him happy.

ROSSI

What if her father was a cheese maker and she was supposed to take over the business but didn’t know how to tell you?

NOAH

What if I would have paid more attention?

ROSSI

What if she was an alien sent from her planet to study human behavior?

NOAH

I feel like I just missed some huge clues and I still don’t know what they were.

Rossi sighs and looks helplessly at Noah.

ROSSI

What if you weren’t MEANT to know, Noah? Shit happens. People grow apart. Things change.

NOAH (MUMBLES)

I don’t like change

ROSSI

I’ve noticed.

NOAH

What if…

Rossi sighs again and gets up, Noah looks at her.

NOAH (CONT’D)

What are you doing?

ROSSI

I’m sick of thinking “what if”? Aren’t you?

Rossi takes off her shirt and throws it to the ground next to him. Noah props himself up on his elbows now, staring at her in confusion. Rossi speaks while continuing to undress and wade into the water.

ROSSI (CONT’D)

You’re an artist, Noah, whether you like it or not. Life is about “what if”s but as an artist, you just have to take the plunge. With everything.

Rossi submerges, and Noah watches as she breaks the surface in the moonlight. The two are quiet, as Rossi brushes the hair out of her face and parts the water.

———-[Gap in writing because I can’t write in order]———-

INT. STUDIO - DAY —     

Noah lays on the floor, staring at the ceiling, surrounded by unfinished artwork.

NOAH (VOICEOVER)

Rossi was right. I had been waiting. And the worst part is, I’m not even sure what it was for anymore. Maybe for Devon to knock on the door, or to answer one of my twenty voice mails, or at least a fucking explanation. Two years, thrown away. And she was already happy again. But every time I thought about her, I didn’t see her smiling face - I saw her angry, and yelling. I saw her crying and packing her things, throwing things, and this empty apartment.

 ———-[Gap in writing because I can’t write in order]———-

Sometimes things are meant to happen. There’s no explanation, no elaborate reason we don’t understand yet. And that’s the complicated beauty of it all, you see. If we could explain why we put on a red shirt rather than blue one day, or why they mixed up your order at the coffeehouse, or why you are attracted to a girl, what would be the point? Because maybe you find out that day that red looks good on you, or that the chocolate mocha that you didn’t order is delicious, and that the girl you’re attracted to is in love with you. And you’re in love with her. There is no reason for it, it just is. Just like the sky is blue, the grass is green, and gravity exists. Sometimes you meet a girl, fall in love, and wind up on the adventure of your life. So stop trying to explain it away with your reasoning and fancy words, and enjoy the ride.