My friend was with this guy, while she’s living with her (recently) ex-boyfriend. Her this guy were talking about marriage and planning their future together, but then he got really controlling, not wanting her to hang out with the guys without him around and getting pissy if she was working “too much” because he “knew” what or who she valued more. She was constantly trying to appease him in that sense. He was never man enough, romantic enough, or mature enough for her. One night, he punched her in the face for “not listening” and she “made him do it”. She told him she could never be with him or trust him again, having had been in two previously abusive relationships (including the recent ex she’s still living with) which this guy had seen the effects of.
A week later, he goes to her recent ex-boyfriend and tells him everything that’s happened between the two of them - the sex, that they’ve been together for a year now behind his back, everything. And then he ups and stops talking to her. Her ex-boyfriend says it’s because this other guy is getting engaged to someone else back home, in another country. What does she do? She stops eating, she starts throwing up due to the anxiety of not knowing the truth. She tells me to talk to this other guy, to tell him how miserable she is and that she would take him back if he just told her the truth.
She asked him multiple times this summer if he was getting engaged back home, and he looked her in the eyes and said no every time. Three days after, he texted me asking how she was. She’s racking her brain wondering why he did it, if it was payback for something about her and her ex-boyfriend, if he really ever loved her…
Why do people go back to the good things about someone when something terrible happens like this? Someone betrays our trust so heavily, but we ignore that and lust for everything before the hurt. SHE was the one who said she couldn’t be with him, and didn’t even want to talk to him other than texting because he hit her. But as soon as something happens, she’s willing to take him back? No. And I don’t know how to help her any more. She’s wallowing and pathetic and I don’t understand it. I haven’t been miserable like that in years.
Can someone give some advice?
"Look, all I know is that
You’re the nicest thing I’ve ever seen
And I wish we could see if we could be something
Yeah, I wish we could see if we could be something”
Decided to look up flower meanings and buy some for L for Valentine’s Day. The floral shop didn’t have any of the flowers I had wanted, so I decided to make them out of paper. Terrible idea. Getting insanely nervous. What if this ruins everything?
Ranunculus: you are radiant
Dahlia: my gratitude exceeds your care; I want to compliment/tame your wild side
Camellia (pink/red/white): you are the flame of my heart/adoration/longing
Striped tulip: you have beautiful eyes
Gardenia: secret love
When someone has the ability to make you feel beautiful simply from the way they look at you, or feel all the positive qualities they see in you, does that count as love?
Or is it more so the overwhelming need to make them feel that about themselves?
V.1.26 (House of Caecilius Iucundus); 4091: Whoever loves, let him flourish. Let him perish who knows not love. Let him perish twice over whoever forbids love.
Go live your life. Don’t waste it. What’s the point in holding back or being pessimistic about anything? Really! Where does it get you in the end?
Love yourself. Love others. Love everyone. Love everything!
Listen to this and you might get what I’m talking about:
If you don’t, that’s okay because I’ll interpret it for you.
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There is hope. There is beauty in your dark corners and cobwebs, and in those dead trees of winter. It’s everywhere. Inspiration and love is everywhere, if you look for it.
So stop sitting and waiting for it to find you! Get out there and grab it!
Forgive, don’t forget. Give more than one chance. Take risks, jump feet first, love with all your heart, give all you have, laugh every day, enjoy every moment, savor every person you come into contact with.
If you’re not going to do it because I told you to, do it for yourself.
Live your life with a passion and don’t give it up for anyone.
"…I have a little secret for ya. Huddle up. Huddle up! We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are all noble pursuits, and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for…"
-Mr. Keating, Dead Poet’s Society